It’s okay to feel lost

You’re teaching your child nearly every day and it is working. You are making a difference. You are helping them. This is hopefully about adventure, not pressure. Challenge, not problem.

Sometimes, you will be lost. You must be lost. It’s required.

The brilliant author Seth Godin says it marvellously that true learning requires ‘tension and discomfort.’ Before change come moments of not knowing, not understanding, perhaps not even being aware of what you are supposed to know.

Learning an eleven plus curriculum means your child is engaged with at least eight forms of knowledge. It also means you are, too. Those forms are:

  1. Information they have already learned at school, so will be revising.
  2. Information they are familiar with, but purposefully repackaged into multistep problems they will not be familiar with, which are designed to test logic and a creative ability to use information.
  3. New skills and concepts they will not know. Eleven plus exams involve a Year 6 curriculum, but exams are sat at the start of Year 6 – before that curriculum may have been taught in your child’s school.
  4. Exam techniques: learning how to manage time; how to dive deeply into the parts of a question to make sure they understand what is being asked and which method they should use to solve it; how to not be fooled by incorrect answers; to do all of this as efficiently and carefully (yes, there’s a contradiction there) as possible.
  5. Learning to mistrust and test and not be tricked by multiple choice answers that are designed to trick children.
  6. To believe in and keep returning to a growth mindset that understands learning is not fixed, that new skills and information can be taught and learned and understood.
  7. Stamina and buoyancy to start learning, stay learning and continue to prepare for many months. This includes feeling lost and found many times, a cycle of discovering what you know, discovering and celebrating what you don’t know, and having the cool courage to begin learning each chunk of what you don’t know, so that in the end, your child runs out of nearly everything they don’t know in time for the exams.
  8. Doing all of this inside relationships: parent and child, grown-up and child, tuition, friends, clubs, grandparents, and so on. Finding a way for everyone to be on the same page, to trust, to be okay about asking for, and being given help, from different people, to understand and not blame frustrations. To know when a break is needed. To know when a smile and a hug is needed.

This is a huge set of tasks, and feeling lost is normal. If you can embrace feeling lost, accept that it means you are on the right path, you can stay happier, learn more, and surrender to the long-term process and path, the ‘journey’.

One step at a time – or one step ahead?

One of the most helpful methods that served me as a dad when teaching both my children, and which serves nearly every teacher on the planet, is to forget knowing everything, and focus on being one step ahead of your child. It’s such a simple process, but it can make the learning session so much easier for you both.

For example, feedback from a test shows your son or daughter doesn’t know about angles in quadrilaterals and triangles. Before you rush in to solve or give more questions, set aside an hour for you to learn about these. Books like Bond How to do 11plus Maths, CGP’s Year 6 Maths, are good introductions, as are youtube channels like Corbett maths and Khan academy, as well as the BBC teaching part of its website. You have the whole internet to help you. My go to book for learning about concepts, which I recommend to parents of the children I tutor, is Derek Haylock’s Mathematics Explained for Primary Teachers.

You don’t need to know everything or visit all channels. Just knowing enough of the topic for you to understand the basic concepts ahead of your child will allow you to answer a few of their questions, possibly to recognise mistakes in their thinking, and to delve into the subject and some questions with them.

As a class teacher, I would always brush up on knowledge or skills ahead of teaching children. As a tutor, I do this continually.

Admitting you don’t know something is good for your child’s learning.

During a session, if you don’t understand something or can’t answer a question your child has asked (yet), it’s a wonderful moment to compliment your child’s curiosity and intelligence: “What a great question! I’m not sure, let’s explore and try and find out.”

This admission has three wonderful benefits you definitely want in your learning time together:

  1. Your child watches how you respond to not knowing, and when they see you respond positively and excitedly, it’s more likely he or she will learn to respond the same way.
  2. You give them permission to not know or understand something. In fact, you normalise not knowing and understanding something as a vital part of actually learning it!
  3. You create a mood of being willing to explore a topic. To open up, not shut down.

It’s okay to feel lost. You are helping your child. You are both learning. Enjoy your time being lost and exploring together.

Stay learning, stay happy, stay 11plushappy!

My best, Lee

It’s okay to feel lost

You’re teaching your child nearly every day and it is working. You are making a difference. You are helping them. This is hopefully about adventure, not pressure. Challenge, not problem.

Sometimes, you will be lost. You must be lost. It’s required.

The brilliant author Seth Godin says it marvellously that true learning requires ‘tension and discomfort.’ Before change come moments of not knowing, not understanding, perhaps not even being aware of what you are supposed to know.

Learning an eleven plus curriculum means your child is engaged with at least eight forms of knowledge. It also means you are, too. Those forms are:

  1. Information they have already learned at school, so will be revising.
  2. Information they are familiar with, but purposefully repackaged into multistep problems they will not be familiar with, which are designed to test logic and a creative ability to use information.
  3. New skills and concepts they will not know. Eleven plus exams involve a Year 6 curriculum, but exams are sat at the start of Year 6 – before that curriculum may have been taught in your child’s school.
  4. Exam techniques: learning how to manage time; how to dive deeply into the parts of a question to make sure they understand what is being asked and which method they should use to solve it; how to not be fooled by incorrect answers; to do all of this as efficiently and carefully (yes, there’s a contradiction there) as possible.
  5. Learning to mistrust and test and not be tricked by multiple choice answers that are designed to trick children.
  6. To believe in and keep returning to a growth mindset that understands learning is not fixed, that new skills and information can be taught and learned and understood.
  7. Stamina and buoyancy to start learning, stay learning and continue to prepare for many months. This includes feeling lost and found many times, a cycle of discovering what you know, discovering and celebrating what you don’t know, and having the cool courage to begin learning each chunk of what you don’t know, so that in the end, your child runs out of nearly everything they don’t know in time for the exams.
  8. Doing all of this inside relationships: parent and child, grown-up and child, tuition, friends, clubs, grandparents, and so on. Finding a way for everyone to be on the same page, to trust, to be okay about asking for, and being given help, from different people, to understand and not blame frustrations. To know when a break is needed. To know when a smile and a hug is needed.

This is a huge set of tasks, and feeling lost is normal. If you can embrace feeling lost, accept that it means you are on the right path, you can stay happier, learn more, and surrender to the long-term process and path, the ‘journey’.

One step at a time – or one step ahead?

One of the most helpful methods that served me as a dad when teaching both my children, and which serves nearly every teacher on the planet, is to forget knowing everything, and focus on being one step ahead of your child. It’s such a simple process, but it can make the learning session so much easier for you both.

For example, feedback from a test shows your son or daughter doesn’t know about angles in quadrilaterals and triangles. Before you rush in to solve or give more questions, set aside an hour for you to learn about these. Books like Bond How to do 11plus Maths, CGP’s Year 6 Maths, are good introductions, as are youtube channels like Corbett maths and Khan academy, as well as the BBC teaching part of its website. You have the whole internet to help you. My go to book for learning about concepts, which I recommend to parents of the children I tutor, is Derek Haylock’s Mathematics Explained for Primary Teachers.

You don’t need to know everything or visit all channels. Just knowing enough of the topic for you to understand the basic concepts ahead of your child will allow you to answer a few of their questions, possibly to recognise mistakes in their thinking, and to delve into the subject and some questions with them.

As a class teacher, I would always brush up on knowledge or skills ahead of teaching children. As a tutor, I do this continually.

Admitting you don’t know something is good for your child’s learning.

During a session, if you don’t understand something or can’t answer a question your child has asked (yet), it’s a wonderful moment to compliment your child’s curiosity and intelligence: “What a great question! I’m not sure, let’s explore and try and find out.”

This admission has three wonderful benefits you definitely want in your learning time together:

  1. Your child watches how you respond to not knowing, and when they see you respond positively and excitedly, it’s more likely he or she will learn to respond the same way.
  2. You give them permission to not know or understand something. In fact, you normalise not knowing and understanding something as a vital part of actually learning it!
  3. You create a mood of being willing to explore a topic. To open up, not shut down.

It’s okay to feel lost. You are helping your child. You are both learning. Enjoy your time being lost and exploring together.

Stay learning, stay happy, stay 11plushappy!

My best, Lee

Children’s Planner for 11plus Tuition and Homework available NOW!

Hi everyone, I made a planner! I designed it for my own children and families, so they could have a rock-solid method of handing over learning and homework. The kids and parents love it and I wanted to share it with you. You may love it, too!

Tuition just got happier! If you’ve ever asked your child what homework their tutor has set them, only to get the reply: “Um…I can’t remember,” this child-friendly journal is going to change your life. Bring to every tuition or home learning session and never lose track of homework and learning again. A trustworthy A5 planner to make children, families and tutors happier while boosting Eleven Plus, KS2 and Lower KS3 education, from the learning-obsessed team of one at http://www.11plushappy.com.

  • Designed with children in mind.
  • Glossy, beautiful and bright, wipe-clean cover to survive real life, school bags and snack fingers! Children will be happy to own and bring this to every lesson.
  • Easy A5 size – child and backpack friendly!
  • 198 pages – Track and record up to 2 years of tuition or home learning.
  • Welcome page to draw and add personal details.
  • Your child can write in their happy reasons for studying and learning – encourages commitment and motivation.
  • Child-friendly question prompts to help with mind maps, after-lesson reflection and learning.
  • A reliable shared space for everyone: children, tutors and families.
  • Ask your child’s tutor a question in the space provided.
  • Dedicated mind map space to draw and note key remembered information after each lesson. Aids memory retention and deeper learning.
  • Break-out space for doodling and relaxing.

Click here to get your child organised!

No other planner is designed with such a happy focus on improving learning by bringing children, families and tutors together.
Are you ready to help your child reach their highest mark? Click and order yours today.
Are you looking forward to never not knowing what your child’s homework is again?

  • Perfect for parents and family members supporting children preparing for 11plus entrance exams for grammar and Independent schools. Your child is doing amazing things – let’s make the journey smooth.
  • Perfect for all Eleven Plus, KS2 Primary and Lower Key Stage 3 tuition and home learning.
  • A super-helpful, practical solution for committed tutors searching for a way to develop communication with families and make everyone’s time easier, more efficient, effective and happier. Set yourself apart by gifting or recommending this planner to your students.

Pick up your child-friendly, family-friendly and tutor-friendly planner here!

You and your child will LOVE this model of an 11plus-level story – AND the full explanations of EVERY feature

Hi, Dear Parent,

Okay, so this is a large, educational, 11plus super-booster of a video packed, crammed and brimming with writing techniques your child can start using now! SHOW them an example of what successful writing looks like.

Huge buzzing announcement that this will soon be part of a full video course on creative writing, but right now, it’s here, free and available to watch, learn and succeed with.

This will help you think ahead for your next shared learning session together.

From Kingston Grammar to St Paul’s Girls, children are doing their superhero magic and being offered places using these ideas. Join them now!

Stay learning, stay 11plushappy! Your child can do this!

Happy teaching and learning,

Lee, London

70% off 11plus English 4-ebook Masterclass bundle

The Masterclass Ebook 11plus English Masterclass series gives you immediate access to all 4 books in the series at a 70% saving

I know, know, know these books can help you and your child as you prepare for 11plus success!

Blessed to hear today that students have passed not only grammar school tests, but top, independent London schools. However small a role the thoughts, plans and actions in the books may have contributed, we are often only looking for the smallest of margins.

Please take a look and grab your bundle now. I’m cutting prices as low as I can to keep living – I am a one-person microbusiness and passionately committed tutor and writer – in the hope the saving will inspire you to allow these books to start helping your child today.

I love teaching, I love being a parent…please let me help you. Whether you are a parent or tutor, take 70% off the cost of your investment in your children. Spend the rest on them as a reward for their efforts.

My best to you and the children in your educational care,

Lee,

London 2022

thttps://11plushappy.com/product/11plus-english-masterclass-bundle/

Who what where when why how: Does 11plus learning ever change?

6 questions every child is taught in KS2. 5WH (5 whats, 1 how). 6 questions we probably ask ourselves a lot right now. 6 questions that perhaps we can use as guides when planning 11+ learning. Think of this as a thought exercise that might bring calm and clarity amid the chaos.

I don’t know how to write about COVID-19 and its many horrible consequences. I know many reading this will have expertise and experience that I could never match. Notwithstanding this, our 6 KS2 questions have helped many societies and individuals for centuries. They are helpful tools to investigate the moment. The moment close to our hearts on this site is helping your child be as ready and as happy as they can be for their 11plus, whether the exam is this year, next year or later.

I offer the 6 questions as a way to to explore whether the answers ever change much, even if the circumstances in which we ask them change greatly.

Focusing in, we may ask:

  1. Who will help my child learn and prepare for the 11plus?
  2. What is to be done to help my child be ready for the 11plus?
  3. Where will this learning and help take place?
  4. When is the learning and preparation for the 11plus going to happen?
  5. Why are we guiding our children towards sitting the 11plus? What reasons?
  6. How does my child prepare for the 11plus?

I could probably stop writing at this point and give you space to think about each question, to reflect on where each one of the 5WHs takes you, and to consider how you might answer each one.

That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I need more time to think about these myself; but I didn’t want to wait to share the questions with you.

This being the case, please read the questions again. Perhaps ask your family, your child, for their thoughts as well.

I’ll write again tomorrow.

Best, Lee

London 2021

The Same Word War…or a brand new game to play with your child

I’m right in the middle of sending some lovely learning to an online student when BANG…a new idea comes for a game, so I’m sharing it with you straight away. You will probably play it before us, as we are not skype-meeting until Friday. It’s amazing to think an idea might spread into the Learning Living-rooms of the world!

Words are slippery.

Some words can be nouns, some words can be verbs, while others still can be adjectives. Meanwhile, hundreds of words can be all of these word types and more.

They change form, become shape-shifting tricksters that turn up in multiple choice papers. For instance, which of these is the odd one out?

cut slice rip tear crevice crack

Only word-types will save you here! They are all nouns or verbs, except crevice, which is just a beautiful noun.

So…a game to play. First, choose a number that is on a dice you have. (You can use an online dice if you don’t have one to hand.) We’ll come back to this number shortly.

  1. Choose 10 words each that can be more than one word type. I found a wide selection here:

Or here: https://onweb3.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/663/

This site has a huge list of sentences that show the words in their different roles.

2. Write them as two lists. You don’t have to choose the same words. You could choose a word one at a time to prevent this, or make up a fun rule that if you both have the same word, you both have to do a bird impression or a press up if one of you lands on it- it’s totally up to you!

3. Roll a dice. (Lots of variations: 6-9 sided dice, 2 dice and 12 words, etc.)

4. Count down the list to the word. (Keep going down and up the list, or chart your own path, like jumping in 3s.)

5. Both of you write sentences that use your word in different ways. E.g. call as a noun and a verb. First to finish both sentences wins a point.

6. Remember your special number from the start? If you roll that number, you have a chance to battle for one of your opponent’s words.

7. Let’s say you choose your opponent’s word clean. Each of you write in secret, behind your hand, a sentence using that word in any way you want.

8. If you both use the word as the same word type in your sentences, e.g. as an adjective (Water is a lovely drink when clean; Auntie’s car was incredibly clean.), you win the word from your opponent.

9. But…if it is different, your opponent can choose one of your words and battle for it.

When that battle has played out, you continue taking turns to roll.

Your winner could be:

  • the first person to have all the words;
  • the first person to win 3 words;
  • the person with the most words after 5-10 minutes. (Quite useful for keeping pace and also stopping the game running on.)

What’s the point of the game?

  • Fun.
  • Relationship building.
  • Secret learning about words that are more than one word type, which could help in multiple choice language tests or comprehension.
  • A warm-up to a writing lesson in which these multi-jobbing, slippery words are used on purpose to practise.
  • A springboard to creating more games between you.
  • A quick learning boost when there are 10 minutes to spare. Note: I challenge you to keep a dice close at hand throughout your child’s childhood. They are portable learning legends!
  • Writing practice. You could set extra rules around the types of sentence you use. For example, your sentences need to be compound or complex, not simple. This reduces the risk of writing an over-easy sentence in order to finish writing first!
  • The game element could make the learning more memorable. We often remember more of what is unusual. Think of a crowded street of people in ordinary clothes, among which strolls a lady in a yellow and purple suit, two golden walking sticks, one silver shoe and one welly which is filled with water. Who do you think you might remember from that street?
  • If it’s fun, it can grow enthusiasm for the next learning session. You can repeat the game – your child might even ask to play it again, perhaps with a different rule. Sometimes, if a child is initially reluctant to start a learning session, I simply say, “We’re going to play a game,” and begin. I don’t call it a learning session. The appearance of a dice can be magical! Games can help enormously with those moments, whether they come at the start or the middle of a lesson.

I’ve created an instant ebook bundle for you of targeted 11+ happy learning material to share and learn together with your child. Click here for 50% off until our precious children return to school.

“Grow wherever life puts you.”

Ben Okri

50% off all 11plus English tuition books until our precious children are allowed to return to school

The headline says it all, so if you want to skip to the books, please do. Goodness knows how we make it through this, but we have to believe at some point that schools will reopen and your hoped-for grammar school will admit the next intake. It could be sooner than we think or later than we think, but it will happen.

Whatever you are doing to stay safe and occupied, we must keep our children learning.

The good habits you and schools have established to help your children learn are crucial at this moment. Learning provides much more than a distraction from worry – it paves the way for tomorrow’s generation of heroes and humans who will shape and build and grow the best future possible. It sets your child on their best path.

11 plus exams will at some point be a normal reality again. Please – little by little – stay learning with precision and purpose. We need our children to be progressing and prepared, not in a spirit of competition or worry, but in a happy spirit of continuing the love of learning and the happiness and stimulation that come from achievement and focus. It is good that our highest goals as humans remain at the core of what we do. It is not easy, but it is good.

I’m now running a 50% off coupon on all books in the 11plushappy range, including the bundle. (From an already low bundle price of £47, you now invest just £23.50 for the 4-book 11 Plus English Masterclass Bundle, giving you months of targeted learning).

Use the voucher code ‘stay at home’ in the cart.

Please have a look at the books. I believe so strongly they can help you and your child continue learning together.

I’m sorry I am not in a position to offer them for free. With social distancing in place, all my tuition students can, of course, no longer come, so my own income and ability to keep my family food coming is under pressure. I hope that 50% off everything can help everyone survive and thrive. Please share the coupon with anyone you feel might benefit – there are no restrictions. The creative writing guides are also very suitable for upper KS2 and KS3 children. Included in the purchase is an opportunity to send a piece of your child’s written work for free, so that I can read and suggest some next steps for your child to take. This is specific to your child, not generic.

Simply add your books to the cart and write ‘stay at home’ in the voucher code box. Your 50% discount will be applied immediately.

Stay learning, stay safe, love your children, be patient, be caring, be funny, strive to be happy. In dark times, we must be the extra light.

Thank you for caring for and teaching your children. I hope that as you stay at home, your 50% off voucher code helps you and your child on their path to eventual eleven plus success.

Children, keep creating, keep learning and keep laughing. Every smile, every word, every number, every picture is worth it.

My best, Lee

London

Superinfluence Part 2 continued: What’s in the 11+ test?

Yesterday’s blog hopefully sent you off on a hunt for dates of application for the grammar schools you are interested in. Today, we deal with the holy grail of knowing what is in the test. That would make all the difference, right? If we could see how it was laid out, what the question types were, we could really target our learning.

Interestingly, the truth is we never absolutely know, but we sort of do. The first big mistake would be to do what I deliberately did above and use the wrong article in front of ’11+ test’.

THE 11+ test does not exist. An 11+ test exists. Lots of them.

Schools, perhaps more precisely the schools in a borough, develop different formats, albeit they are testing similar knowledge. Broadly, verbal reasoning and non-verbal reasoning is becoming less of a thing, while English and Maths are more of a thing.

Children are tested on English and maths knowledge and skills taught in primary schools, with one big exception, which is that they are tested on knowledge and skills that include and sometimes go beyond that learned in Y6, at a time and age when they have only completed Y5, or pehaps recently started Y6.

Returning to the fact that the 11plus test does not exist, but rather lots of similar, but different, tests exist, on the one hand, this is incredibly annoying and frustrating. After all, we know what the KS2 SATs look like. Indeed, children do lots of practice tests for these, so they are familiar with the format.

Similarly, in GCSE English, we know the format and the types of question that will be asked. Students can do lots of past papers to rehearse their answers, even following mark schemes that tell students the difference between low and high mark answers.

So why not the 11plus? No one really knows. Other than the fact that the number of places is small and there would not be enough capacity to take in every child who was in line to perform brilliantly at the SATs, it remains a bit of a mystery.

On the other hand, other providers, websites and publishers do provide the test models. Precise books like mine, which teach skills to help your child know how to sit the tests, can be used alongside the excellent resources and practice papers elsewhere that show your child WHAT an approximation of a paper looks and feels like. Thankfully, there is a lot of information and resources within education to help you.

It is worth asking the schools you are interested in if they do have an example paper or sample questions to look at. The response is variable – some do, many don’t.

With this in mind, it becomes really important to know the schools you are interested in. There are many excellent sites that try and gather test information for various grammar schools. Test information is sometimes vague, but as we’ve mentioned, some schools don’t publish the precise content and format of tests.

Below, then, are three sites I want to share with you to help you find that information. As well as having gathered information regarding different grammar schools, the providers produce brilliant learning resources. I use practice papers from all three sites to complement my own books and techniques, to provide a really thorough grounding and preparation in both what and how.

My own passion and belief as a teacher is not enough skills, techniques and child-friendly hacks are taught that help children know HOW to pass the tests. Practice papers are essential, they are the WHAT, but they are far from enough on their own. Every child I’ve ever taught, starting with my own children, has needed help to learn how they are being tested or tricked in each test. With multiple choice in particular, there are dozens of tricks in both English and maths. Remember that Stage 1 multiple choice tests are often there to sift out students. What’s really surprising is some schools do not even use the Stage 1 results towards a child’s final mark! Stage 1 acts as a gatekeeper to Stage 2, school specific, tests. It is this Stage 2,written test, that provides the final assessed mark in some schools.

Yesterday, I decided to split this superinfluence episode into two. It might be better if I split it into three or even four parts. Remember that all this searching for information, all this understanding of the how and the what of your child’s test, is your job, your responsibility. It is the superinfluence in the background. If you create the learning moments, your child will live them. Make sure they are the right learning moments.

Have a good look around the websites below for information relating to the school/s you’re thinking about. Obviously, if your school in question is not covered, then the school is your direct port of urgent call, as we mentioned yesterday. The first link is from exampapersplus.co.uk. Below I’ve linked to a sample page for Wilson’s school.

Also try https://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/schools for an excellent overview of schools up and down the country.

Lastly, https://www.rsleducational.co.uk/blog has clear information on different schools.

I’ll see you in the next post as we continue to dive deep into the superinfluence you have as a parent or carer of your child. There is so much I want to cover and help you be super prepared, for, in order that your child is super prepared and ready with a smile on their face.

I was you a few years ago. My children were your children!

If I can help make the journey successful and pass on knowledge and skills that can help, I’m doing the right thing. My children thrived in grammar school, so can yours! See you in our next post.

Start 11 plus learning, stay 11 plus learning and stay 11plushappy!

Best, Lee